Strike Two

You'd think that this would be easy. That a reasonably responsible person would be able to execute these tasks with no trouble whatsoever. Apparently, I am not a reasonably responsible person. For the second time in a row I was not able to complete the challenge as assigned.

The making of the Mike was fine, although I did run into a snag with crushed ice as well. The recipe we posted calls for 1 oz. of ice in the top layer. One ounce seemed like an extremely small amount of ice so I did some more research and discovered that the correct measurement is 1 cup of ice! This sent me into a semi-panic as I considered the potential global impact of this crushed ice conundrum. I managed to forge ahead, however, and completed the cocktail with the proper amount of crushed ice with about one minute and 30 seconds until drinking time. At precisely 15:00 PST I took my first sip while sitting out on our gloriously sunny deck. All was well in the world, right? Wrong.

Upon closer inspection of the photo you'll notice that my non-drinking hand is dangling off the arm of the chair, completely oblivious to the fact that it had failed in the modest task which was its charge. WHERE IS THE THING THAT REPRESENTS THE COUNTRY OF THE OTHER GIBSON? Well, I'll tell you where it was. It was sitting on the corner of my bar downstairs. A gorgeous kangaroo scrotum bottle opener, forgotten in the mad rush to get upstairs.

As it turns out, this error was not as grievous as the bus mishap. Our data indicates that the hemispheres have been realigned and directional magnetism has been adjusted. However, until I manage to complete one of these challenges accurately you may notice a nagging sense of malaise and sporadic malfunction in garage door openers. I hope this doesn't inconvenience you too much and I eagerly await the next challenge so that I may attempt to redeem myself for the second time.

NEWS FLASH... Early Signs Indicate Global Success

In a startling mid-morning development, it appears as though our efforts may have been successful.

Despite not having yet received an official report from Gibson-US, a remarkable event has taken place in Bondi, Australia which points to a positive global result.

Following the 0800 Molokai Mike, I was joined by 2 friends - one from New Zealand, one from the United Kingdom - and a round of Pina Coladas was consumed in front of the house at 1030 AEST. Despite the cold temperature and impending rain, the trio enjoyed the rumcoconutty goodness while wearing festive attire and listening to Les Baxter.

A couple of jubilent passers by also stopped to soak up the relaxed vibe.

We are taking this as a sign that the hemispheres have achieved true alignment once again.

Success in Sydney.

When the fate of humanity rests in your hands, you sometimes have to dig a little deeper. And by 'a little deeper' I mean getting up at 0700 on a Sunday morning in winter in order to make and drink a layered cocktail.

Don't get me wrong, the hurdles I had to jump over for the successful completion of this challenge were not so much mental - after all, who hasn't secretly wanted to drink a cocktail in the morning once or twice - but rather physical. The bed was warm, the fog of the previous night was settled like a fine, fuzzy dew across my tongue, and I knew I didn't have the right kind of glass for a Molokai Mike. But if the Gibson vs. Gibson experience has shown me anything, it's that the satisfaction of a successfully completed mission brings a kind of relaxation and bliss regularly only experienced by Buddhist monks and people patting really cute puppies.

With all ingredients gathered and with a glass of hot water and lemon juice in hand to flush the liver and line the gut, I began the cocktail assembly at approximately 0735 AEST. My major stumbling block was the crushing of ice - both food processor and blender failed me - until I remembered my 60s Ice-O-Matic manual ice crusher. Thank goodness for this piece of chrome and plastic excellence. It shaved the ice down to a size manageable for the blender.

But the ice wasn't the only thing I was cutting fine. At 0758, with just 2 minutes left before the allotted time, the cocktail was finally assembled (with slightly dubious layering, it has to be said) and I hurried outside to assume the position. In my non-drinking hand, I chose to hold the souvenir Head-O-State, representing America's fascination with sex and politics. At 0800, I imbibed the Molokai Mike and as the layers merged in my belly and my photographer snapped the moment, I felt at one with Gibson-US and with the world at large. However, this feeling quickly passed and I was left merely with a compulsion to go back into the heated house.

The Problem with Pudding & The Next Assignment

In my debriefing with Gibson-OZ a pudding problem was exposed. It appears that the silky, custard-like dessert we Americans call pudding takes on a completely different form in the land down under. This culinary inconsistency proved to be the catalyst for catastrophe. When Gibson-OZ and I made two different puddings it threw the world into turmoil. Specifically, it set off a series of events leading to an unreliable bus schedule in Seattle on that fateful day. So what we have learned is: Never underestimate the power of pudding. Study and learn the differences (US Pudding vs. OZ Pudding) – you'll be glad you did.

Unfortunately, this pudding snafu has had consequences more dire than we originally thought. Our charts indicate that if we don't fix the directional magnetism of the universe there is potential that our two hemispheres will separate, revealing the earth's core and the lizard people that live within.

Please don't panic. We have a plan.

At precisely 22:00 GMT on Saturday, June 13th* we will simultaneously execute the following task: drink a two-hemisphered cocktail called the Molokai Mike while sitting outside of our residences holding something representative of the other Gibson's country in our non-drinking hand. As the two halves of the cocktail merge into a warmth in our stomachs you should notice a slight pressure release as the universe settles back into harmony. A full report with photographic documentation of the preparation and consumption of the cocktail will be provided for posterity. Feel free to raise a glass yourselves in celebration of the earth remaining a solitary mass.

* Please note that Gibson-OZ will be drinking his cocktail at 8:00 in the morning Australia time on Sunday, June 14th — a testament to his dedication to this noble cause.

Apology to Humankind

Dear Humankind,

At precisely 17:01 PST on Saturday May 30th I was not on a bus. I had vanilla pudding. I had a spoon. My wife was ready with the camera and we stood helpless, waiting at the bus stop. As the time drew near we frantically discussed the options and the potential ramifications and decided that the best course of action was to take my picture eating the pudding as I walked backwards towards the South. When the bus finally did come (10 minutes late) we quickly climbed aboard and executed the required task at 17:04 and 8 seconds. This 3 minute and 8 second time lag has certainly had a negative affect on directional magnetism. Please adjust your compasses accordingly.

It's tempting to blame the Seattle Metro system and be done with it, however I must take some responsibility. At about 16:45 PST I made a decision I will regret for the rest of my life. In a moment of pure foolishness I elected not to board the previous bus and thus let the fate of the universe hinge on the precision of the Seattle Metro. Any of you who have ridden the bus know that this was not a good idea. Fortunately, it appears that my mistake has not caused any permanent damage. According to my calculations, we were able to partially realign the magnetic anomaly, however you may notice a slight pull towards the south and some GPS glitches in certain rural areas. Don't fret though. Gibson-OZ and I will be in contact soon to figure out a way to get things back on track.

Regarding the vanilla pudding -- good consistency, no lumps, delicious.

Once again, I apologize for this unfortunate situation. I will do everything in power to never let it happen again.

Until next time,
Gibson-US

Southern Hemisphere Saved!

Revenge may be a dish best served cold, but the same cannot be said for chocolate pudding.

Anticipation got the best of me on the night of Saturday, May 30 AEST and after several steadying glasses of wine, I decided to pre-prepare my pudding. All went smoothly and the end result was simply stunning - a moist, fluffy specimen which filled the kitchen with the wonderful smell of cocoa and melted dark chocolate. In a gesture of solidarity with Gibson US, I even wore my Pike Place Markets apron for the occasion.

However, in the cold light of the wintery Sydney sun, the pudding looked very much like I felt - flat, cold and crusty. In an attempt to recapture a fraction of its former glory, I returned the pudding to the oven on a low heat. This had an effect similar to placing a dead bird in the sun for an hour. Still, I resolved to take a bullet to my tastebuds and in the interests of global safety, placed a portion of the once proud pudding in a container and set out for the bus stop at 0925 AEST on Sunday, May 31.

The 333 is a fine bus route. Departing from the beach in Bondi, it travels west through Paddington, down the famous Oxford Street and then strikes north to enter Sydney city. At 1001, the 333 had entered the northern section of its journey and I was able to take a bite of the lukewarm chocolate pudding upon which the fate of the word rested. My accomplice, shaking as a result of the excitement of the moment, managed to snap a record of the moment.

The other passengers on the 333 remained blissfully unaware of the magnitude of the morning's event, as did the man in the background of this photo who, despite working in the cold of the morning, inexplicably elected to wear only a polo shirt.

Pudding and Magnets: An Unlikely Threat!

In 1904, British physicist J.J. Thompson proposed what has since become known as the Plum Pudding Model of the atom. Though this model was thought to have been disproved in 1911, we have recently uncovered disturbing evidence indicating that all may not be as it has seemed.

Acting under advice from NASA and the National Institute for Theoretical Physics, we are unable to state full details at this stage. However, we can reveal that a magnetic anomaly at the atomic level threatens to wreak global havoc if not corrected soon.

Considering that plums are out of season in both Australia and the U.S., we have opted to enact the hitherto theoretical Chocolate/Vanilla Pudding Paradox to combat this molecular menace. In layman's terms, the Paradox works like this:

* Both Gibsons prepare a home-made pudding. Gibson-US makes a vanilla pudding, Gibson-OZ makes a chocolate pudding.
* At precisely 0001 on Sunday, May 31st GMT the Gibsons must consume their puddings on public busses. Gibson-US must be traveling south, Gibson-OZ must be traveling north.
* If all goes according to plan, the anomaly will be neutralised and life will continue uninterrupted.

As usual, we will provide photographic evidence and a mission report for posterity (assuming, of course, that communication is still possible).