It has been a trying year. The constant pressure to keep our world from exploding, imploding, dissolving, veering, shrinking, etc. has sapped us of our strength. The countless hours spent researching, calculating, consulting and postulating has drained us of our energy. But fear not! The Gibsons intend to continue their noble pursuit despite the immense physical and mental toll. In preparation for the challenges that lay ahead in 2010 it is imperative that we both recharge our systems. This will be accomplished by executing the following task:
1) Each prepare a 4" wide sticker. Gibson-US's sticker will read "G v" and Gibson-OZ's sticker will read "s G".
2) Locate a street named Gibson and stand next to its street sign.
3) At precisely 19:25 GMT on Tuesday, December 29th (11:25 for Gibson-US and 06:25 on Wednesday the 30th for Gibson-OZ) kneel before the street sign and affix the sticker to the pole.
4) Document the event with photo and/or video.
If all goes as we expect, our simultaneous contact with the Gibson street signs will complete a Gibson circuit, bringing us both a much needed dose of energy and perhaps a small electric shock. Due to the intense electrical currents involved in this event you may notice your hair standing on end for a short period of time after the event. Don't be alarmed! This is normal and should wear off in a couple of hours. In the meantime we suggest that you wear a hat.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Two Men — One Beard
First of all, I apologize if I am repeating any of Gibson-OZ's post. I have refrained from reading his post so as not to influence mine.
As you can see from the photo above, we were successful in the impeccable execution of yet another highly technical challenge with the weight of the universe on our shoulders. It's a good thing everything went according to plan because, as I'm sure you noticed, things were getting a bit out of control before the challenge. We even witnessed firsthand the dangerous effects of both Gibsons occupying the same hemisphere when I plugged in the hair clippers and was confronted with a flash of light and a loud pop. Fortunately I was not injured, but my clippers suffered irreparable damage.
The rest of our preparations went without a hitch and before we knew it we were seated at the Kangaroo and Kiwi eying a pint glass of 2/3 Fosters and 1/3 Coors Light. Our wives/photographers were joined this time by a technical supervisor (thanks, Sarah) to ensure that everything was in order. I must say, that as our freshly shaved cheeks touched there was electricity in the air — the electricity of saving the world from total chaos and mass confusion! And when we took that first sip of specially blended macro lager it was like drinking down the insecurities and fears of an entire species. (FYI: fear and insecurities taste pretty vile.) As expected, the power of our mutual beard was just enough to stabilize the wobbly rotation of the earth and keep it on course... at least for now.
In closing I'd like to wish everyone in the states a Happy Thanksgiving. You don't have to thank us when you say grace at the table, but it probably wouldn't hurt.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
A Close Shave
Traveling out of the southern hemisphere was always going to be risky, but as the hour of this latest challenge approached, the sobering gravity of the situation hit home.
To mentally prepare for the event, my wife and able-bodied assistant drove to the wastes of Mukilteo to collect Gibson-US from his place of employment. On the journey back to civilization, we discussed the plan of attack, including the acquisition of razors, which I had neglected to pack in my suitcase.
Having collected the razors, Gibson-US and I adjourned to various bathrooms to prepare our faces. This seemingly simple act was nearly derailed by a dramatic event, which I will leave to Gibson-US to document, seems as he was the one directly in harm's way.
The shaving portion of the challenge complete, we made our way, documentarians/wives in tow, to the Kangaroo and Kiwi on Hwy 99 for the formal execution. Upon entering, I was relieved to see that the decor of the place was very much like your comfortable, suburban Aussie sports bar, rather than the car crash of boomerangs and life size Paul Hogan cut outs I was expecting. We selected a suitable table and proceeded to order the beer, consisting of 1/3 Coors Light and 2/3 Fosters.
Surprisingly, neither the bartender, nor the patrons batted an eye at either our lopsided facial hair or the drain clearing beer combination we ordered. I suspect that due to the growing gravitational imbalance, they were all feeling a little lopsided themselves.
At the appointed hour, Gibson-US and I pressed the newly denuded portions of our faces together, forming a superb double beard, and bravely imbibed the amber concoction, thereby correcting the global imbalance.
While it was essential for the fate of the Earth and all its denizens, it is safe to say that at no future point will I be ordering a Coors Light/Fosters combination. Thankfully, the Kangaroo and Kiwi also serve Bundaberg Ginger Beer, which I used to take the curse off.
As you were.
To mentally prepare for the event, my wife and able-bodied assistant drove to the wastes of Mukilteo to collect Gibson-US from his place of employment. On the journey back to civilization, we discussed the plan of attack, including the acquisition of razors, which I had neglected to pack in my suitcase.
Having collected the razors, Gibson-US and I adjourned to various bathrooms to prepare our faces. This seemingly simple act was nearly derailed by a dramatic event, which I will leave to Gibson-US to document, seems as he was the one directly in harm's way.
The shaving portion of the challenge complete, we made our way, documentarians/wives in tow, to the Kangaroo and Kiwi on Hwy 99 for the formal execution. Upon entering, I was relieved to see that the decor of the place was very much like your comfortable, suburban Aussie sports bar, rather than the car crash of boomerangs and life size Paul Hogan cut outs I was expecting. We selected a suitable table and proceeded to order the beer, consisting of 1/3 Coors Light and 2/3 Fosters.
Surprisingly, neither the bartender, nor the patrons batted an eye at either our lopsided facial hair or the drain clearing beer combination we ordered. I suspect that due to the growing gravitational imbalance, they were all feeling a little lopsided themselves.
At the appointed hour, Gibson-US and I pressed the newly denuded portions of our faces together, forming a superb double beard, and bravely imbibed the amber concoction, thereby correcting the global imbalance.
While it was essential for the fate of the Earth and all its denizens, it is safe to say that at no future point will I be ordering a Coors Light/Fosters combination. Thankfully, the Kangaroo and Kiwi also serve Bundaberg Ginger Beer, which I used to take the curse off.
As you were.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
When Worlds Collide
In the entire recorded history of mankind, it has only ever happened thrice. But at 0237 GMT on Tuesday, November 24th (1837 on Monday in Seattle, 1337 on Tuesday in Sydney), the Gibsons will come together in the same hemisphere, combining their energy in a Voltronesque fashion, for a massive push against what may possibly be a diabolical threat.
Over the past week, you may have experienced sleeplessness, a slight loss of equilibrium, or a strange compulsion to drive on the wrong side of the road. All of these symptoms could be linked to odd readings we have been picking up from our instruments, ever since Gibson-Oz's departure from the southern hemisphere. While there is no cause for immediate panic, we believe our data to be tracking the early stages of a hemispherical imbalance which, much like a cricket ball given shine on one side by a keen swing bowler, may indicate that the earth is poised to spin off its axis.
To counteract this imbalance, the Gibsons have calculated that they must execute the following challenge:
1) Being bearded, they must shave 1/3 of their whiskers (Gibson-Oz must shave his right side, Gibson-US must shave his left).
2) They must meet in Seattle, at the Kangaroo and Kiwi.
3) They must together order a beer, consisting of 2/3 Australian beer and 1/3 American beer.
4) At the appointed hour (GMT 0237), they must push their faces together, forming an uber beard for increased hemispherical resistance, while simultaneously drinking through straws from the mixed beer.
If all goes well, you should immediately notice a slight drop in wind velocity and/or barometric pressure, followed by a small, yet discernible, sensation of ease.
Please NOTE: As I'm sure you've noticed, the fractions in this challenge are not divided evenly. This is to counteract the vulnerability of the Southern Hemisphere and Australia in particular, given Gibson-OZ's absence. Our data indicates that if we were to shave 1/2 of our beards Australia could spontaneously dissolve into the Indian Ocean. Likewise, if we were to mix our beer with 1/2 Australian and 1/2 American the consequences would be dire. Extremely dire.
Over the past week, you may have experienced sleeplessness, a slight loss of equilibrium, or a strange compulsion to drive on the wrong side of the road. All of these symptoms could be linked to odd readings we have been picking up from our instruments, ever since Gibson-Oz's departure from the southern hemisphere. While there is no cause for immediate panic, we believe our data to be tracking the early stages of a hemispherical imbalance which, much like a cricket ball given shine on one side by a keen swing bowler, may indicate that the earth is poised to spin off its axis.
To counteract this imbalance, the Gibsons have calculated that they must execute the following challenge:
1) Being bearded, they must shave 1/3 of their whiskers (Gibson-Oz must shave his right side, Gibson-US must shave his left).
2) They must meet in Seattle, at the Kangaroo and Kiwi.
3) They must together order a beer, consisting of 2/3 Australian beer and 1/3 American beer.
4) At the appointed hour (GMT 0237), they must push their faces together, forming an uber beard for increased hemispherical resistance, while simultaneously drinking through straws from the mixed beer.
If all goes well, you should immediately notice a slight drop in wind velocity and/or barometric pressure, followed by a small, yet discernible, sensation of ease.
Please NOTE: As I'm sure you've noticed, the fractions in this challenge are not divided evenly. This is to counteract the vulnerability of the Southern Hemisphere and Australia in particular, given Gibson-OZ's absence. Our data indicates that if we were to shave 1/2 of our beards Australia could spontaneously dissolve into the Indian Ocean. Likewise, if we were to mix our beer with 1/2 Australian and 1/2 American the consequences would be dire. Extremely dire.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
No Ghosts In Victoria
Having travelled a ways out of Melbourne for a buck's weekend with some hard drinking friends the night before this challenge, constructing a costume was not the simplest of goals. But, as the morning fog (both literal and figurative) began to clear, some helpful suggestions came forth and a fantastic costume was hastily assembled.
Being a foggy Saturday morning, there was not a great deal of passing traffic, but at the appointed hour, I dutifully extended a thumb and busted my finest moonwalk. The roadside gravel was well suited to this most excellent of bipedal acts, allowing for smooth movement.
Alas, no cars passed while I was moonwalking, but I did remain by the side of the road long enough to be passed by several cars. Some even honked and waved in support of this vitally important challenge. None stopped to offer a lift, but it was clear that all were appreciative of the lengths gone to to ensure a safe and poltergeist free day.
The Seattle (or, indeed, Seatle) sign was constructed from an eviscerated beer carton.
Fifteen minutes before the challenge was due to be executed, we headed down to Great Ocean Road to prepare the costume. Several locals watched from their ocean view balconies, some offering encouraging wolf whistles and saucy comments.
Fifteen minutes before the challenge was due to be executed, we headed down to Great Ocean Road to prepare the costume. Several locals watched from their ocean view balconies, some offering encouraging wolf whistles and saucy comments.
Being a foggy Saturday morning, there was not a great deal of passing traffic, but at the appointed hour, I dutifully extended a thumb and busted my finest moonwalk. The roadside gravel was well suited to this most excellent of bipedal acts, allowing for smooth movement.
Alas, no cars passed while I was moonwalking, but I did remain by the side of the road long enough to be passed by several cars. Some even honked and waved in support of this vitally important challenge. None stopped to offer a lift, but it was clear that all were appreciative of the lengths gone to to ensure a safe and poltergeist free day.
Poltergeist-Free in the Northern Hemi
I must say, it's extremely satisfying to do your part to thwart the efforts of poltergeists. Allow me to relay the events leading up to the successful completion of the mission.
I made the costume the day before the event. Rather than come up with an entire ensemble, I decided to focus on accessories. The foil cane was fairly easy to make. The giant hat, however, was a bit more challenging. After a couple of failed attempts, I enlisted the help of my kind and patient wife who was instrumental in shaping the final design. The rest of my attire was just meant to give context to my fancy accessories. I also must mention the shoes. The hideous, silver monstrosities I was wearing are perhaps the ugliest footwear in the history of civilization. Believe it or not they are basketball shoes — strange, bulbous, space-age basketball shoes made by Adidas for Kobe Bryant in 2002. I am certain that there are no better shoes for moonwalking than these.
On the day of the challenge, my wife and I walked toward North 85th Street with trepidation. The weather was extremely blustery. Would my hat be able to withstand the powerful gusts? As the countdown began, I donned the hat and at the strike of 17:08 began my moonwalk. Fortunately, the wind remained calm and the challenge went off without a hitch. Unfortunately, I was not offered a ride to Melbourne, Australia. Too bad, because I would have been willing to pay a few bucks for gas.
I made the costume the day before the event. Rather than come up with an entire ensemble, I decided to focus on accessories. The foil cane was fairly easy to make. The giant hat, however, was a bit more challenging. After a couple of failed attempts, I enlisted the help of my kind and patient wife who was instrumental in shaping the final design. The rest of my attire was just meant to give context to my fancy accessories. I also must mention the shoes. The hideous, silver monstrosities I was wearing are perhaps the ugliest footwear in the history of civilization. Believe it or not they are basketball shoes — strange, bulbous, space-age basketball shoes made by Adidas for Kobe Bryant in 2002. I am certain that there are no better shoes for moonwalking than these.
On the day of the challenge, my wife and I walked toward North 85th Street with trepidation. The weather was extremely blustery. Would my hat be able to withstand the powerful gusts? As the countdown began, I donned the hat and at the strike of 17:08 began my moonwalk. Fortunately, the wind remained calm and the challenge went off without a hitch. Unfortunately, I was not offered a ride to Melbourne, Australia. Too bad, because I would have been willing to pay a few bucks for gas.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Greetings fellow inhabitants of Planet Earth,
In less than a month our great planet will experience a magnificent and potentially catastrophic event that will undoubtedly have a profound effect on each and every one of you. As usual, we've crunched the numbers, extrapolated the variables and divided everything by pi. To our surprise, the data indicates that we must meet in the Northern Hemisphere. That's right, Gibson-OZ and Gibson-US will temporarily occupy the same time zone. We know it sounds crazy, but it's a chance we have to take.
But, before we get ahead of ourselves, there is one more challenge to be completed before Gibson-OZ boards that fateful jet to the US. Our poltergeist detectors indicate that this year on All Hallows Eve an army of disgruntled spirits intends to do all manner of mischief, including but not limited to, disabling street lights, knocking over garbage cans and eating the spleens of children. In order to combat this horrendous horde we must execute the following challenge:
1) Fashion a crude costume out of newspaper and aluminum foil (kyrptonite for poltergeists).
2) Make a hitchhiking sign, featuring the other Gibson's location (Gibson-OZ will be in Melbourne, AUS)
3) At precisely 0:08 GMT on October 31st, while wearing the costume, moonwalk next to a busy street, while holding the sign and extending a thumb.
4) Document the event with photo and/or video.
If all goes according to plan your Halloween will be pleasant and poltergeist-free. Oh and one final note: The owls are not what they seem.
In less than a month our great planet will experience a magnificent and potentially catastrophic event that will undoubtedly have a profound effect on each and every one of you. As usual, we've crunched the numbers, extrapolated the variables and divided everything by pi. To our surprise, the data indicates that we must meet in the Northern Hemisphere. That's right, Gibson-OZ and Gibson-US will temporarily occupy the same time zone. We know it sounds crazy, but it's a chance we have to take.
But, before we get ahead of ourselves, there is one more challenge to be completed before Gibson-OZ boards that fateful jet to the US. Our poltergeist detectors indicate that this year on All Hallows Eve an army of disgruntled spirits intends to do all manner of mischief, including but not limited to, disabling street lights, knocking over garbage cans and eating the spleens of children. In order to combat this horrendous horde we must execute the following challenge:
1) Fashion a crude costume out of newspaper and aluminum foil (kyrptonite for poltergeists).
2) Make a hitchhiking sign, featuring the other Gibson's location (Gibson-OZ will be in Melbourne, AUS)
3) At precisely 0:08 GMT on October 31st, while wearing the costume, moonwalk next to a busy street, while holding the sign and extending a thumb.
4) Document the event with photo and/or video.
If all goes according to plan your Halloween will be pleasant and poltergeist-free. Oh and one final note: The owls are not what they seem.
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