Sunday, May 31, 2009

Apology to Humankind

Dear Humankind,

At precisely 17:01 PST on Saturday May 30th I was not on a bus. I had vanilla pudding. I had a spoon. My wife was ready with the camera and we stood helpless, waiting at the bus stop. As the time drew near we frantically discussed the options and the potential ramifications and decided that the best course of action was to take my picture eating the pudding as I walked backwards towards the South. When the bus finally did come (10 minutes late) we quickly climbed aboard and executed the required task at 17:04 and 8 seconds. This 3 minute and 8 second time lag has certainly had a negative affect on directional magnetism. Please adjust your compasses accordingly.

It's tempting to blame the Seattle Metro system and be done with it, however I must take some responsibility. At about 16:45 PST I made a decision I will regret for the rest of my life. In a moment of pure foolishness I elected not to board the previous bus and thus let the fate of the universe hinge on the precision of the Seattle Metro. Any of you who have ridden the bus know that this was not a good idea. Fortunately, it appears that my mistake has not caused any permanent damage. According to my calculations, we were able to partially realign the magnetic anomaly, however you may notice a slight pull towards the south and some GPS glitches in certain rural areas. Don't fret though. Gibson-OZ and I will be in contact soon to figure out a way to get things back on track.

Regarding the vanilla pudding -- good consistency, no lumps, delicious.

Once again, I apologize for this unfortunate situation. I will do everything in power to never let it happen again.

Until next time,

Southern Hemisphere Saved!

Revenge may be a dish best served cold, but the same cannot be said for chocolate pudding.

Anticipation got the best of me on the night of Saturday, May 30 AEST and after several steadying glasses of wine, I decided to pre-prepare my pudding. All went smoothly and the end result was simply stunning - a moist, fluffy specimen which filled the kitchen with the wonderful smell of cocoa and melted dark chocolate. In a gesture of solidarity with Gibson US, I even wore my Pike Place Markets apron for the occasion.

However, in the cold light of the wintery Sydney sun, the pudding looked very much like I felt - flat, cold and crusty. In an attempt to recapture a fraction of its former glory, I returned the pudding to the oven on a low heat. This had an effect similar to placing a dead bird in the sun for an hour. Still, I resolved to take a bullet to my tastebuds and in the interests of global safety, placed a portion of the once proud pudding in a container and set out for the bus stop at 0925 AEST on Sunday, May 31.

The 333 is a fine bus route. Departing from the beach in Bondi, it travels west through Paddington, down the famous Oxford Street and then strikes north to enter Sydney city. At 1001, the 333 had entered the northern section of its journey and I was able to take a bite of the lukewarm chocolate pudding upon which the fate of the word rested. My accomplice, shaking as a result of the excitement of the moment, managed to snap a record of the moment.

The other passengers on the 333 remained blissfully unaware of the magnitude of the morning's event, as did the man in the background of this photo who, despite working in the cold of the morning, inexplicably elected to wear only a polo shirt.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Pudding and Magnets: An Unlikely Threat!

In 1904, British physicist J.J. Thompson proposed what has since become known as the Plum Pudding Model of the atom. Though this model was thought to have been disproved in 1911, we have recently uncovered disturbing evidence indicating that all may not be as it has seemed.

Acting under advice from NASA and the National Institute for Theoretical Physics, we are unable to state full details at this stage. However, we can reveal that a magnetic anomaly at the atomic level threatens to wreak global havoc if not corrected soon.

Considering that plums are out of season in both Australia and the U.S., we have opted to enact the hitherto theoretical Chocolate/Vanilla Pudding Paradox to combat this molecular menace. In layman's terms, the Paradox works like this:

* Both Gibsons prepare a home-made pudding. Gibson-US makes a vanilla pudding, Gibson-OZ makes a chocolate pudding.
* At precisely 0001 on Sunday, May 31st GMT the Gibsons must consume their puddings on public busses. Gibson-US must be traveling south, Gibson-OZ must be traveling north.
* If all goes according to plan, the anomaly will be neutralised and life will continue uninterrupted.

As usual, we will provide photographic evidence and a mission report for posterity (assuming, of course, that communication is still possible).