When Worlds Collide

In the entire recorded history of mankind, it has only ever happened thrice. But at 0237 GMT on Tuesday, November 24th (1837 on Monday in Seattle, 1337 on Tuesday in Sydney), the Gibsons will come together in the same hemisphere, combining their energy in a Voltronesque fashion, for a massive push against what may possibly be a diabolical threat.

Over the past week, you may have experienced sleeplessness, a slight loss of equilibrium, or a strange compulsion to drive on the wrong side of the road. All of these symptoms could be linked to odd readings we have been picking up from our instruments, ever since Gibson-Oz's departure from the southern hemisphere. While there is no cause for immediate panic, we believe our data to be tracking the early stages of a hemispherical imbalance which, much like a cricket ball given shine on one side by a keen swing bowler, may indicate that the earth is poised to spin off its axis.

To counteract this imbalance, the Gibsons have calculated that they must execute the following challenge:

1) Being bearded, they must shave 1/3 of their whiskers (Gibson-Oz must shave his right side, Gibson-US must shave his left).
2) They must meet in Seattle, at the Kangaroo and Kiwi.
3) They must together order a beer, consisting of 2/3 Australian beer and 1/3 American beer.
4) At the appointed hour (GMT 0237), they must push their faces together, forming an uber beard for increased hemispherical resistance, while simultaneously drinking through straws from the mixed beer.

If all goes well, you should immediately notice a slight drop in wind velocity and/or barometric pressure, followed by a small, yet discernible, sensation of ease.

Please NOTE: As I'm sure you've noticed, the fractions in this challenge are not divided evenly. This is to counteract the vulnerability of the Southern Hemisphere and Australia in particular, given Gibson-OZ's absence. Our data indicates that if we were to shave 1/2 of our beards Australia could spontaneously dissolve into the Indian Ocean. Likewise, if we were to mix our beer with 1/2 Australian and 1/2 American the consequences would be dire. Extremely dire.