In my debriefing with Gibson-OZ a pudding problem was exposed. It appears that the silky, custard-like dessert we Americans call pudding takes on a completely different form in the land down under. This culinary inconsistency proved to be the catalyst for catastrophe. When Gibson-OZ and I made two different puddings it threw the world into turmoil. Specifically, it set off a series of events leading to an unreliable bus schedule in Seattle on that fateful day. So what we have learned is: Never underestimate the power of pudding. Study and learn the differences (US Pudding vs. OZ Pudding) – you'll be glad you did.
Unfortunately, this pudding snafu has had consequences more dire than we originally thought. Our charts indicate that if we don't fix the directional magnetism of the universe there is potential that our two hemispheres will separate, revealing the earth's core and the lizard people that live within.
Please don't panic. We have a plan.
At precisely 22:00 GMT on Saturday, June 13th* we will simultaneously execute the following task: drink a two-hemisphered cocktail called the Molokai Mike while sitting outside of our residences holding something representative of the other Gibson's country in our non-drinking hand. As the two halves of the cocktail merge into a warmth in our stomachs you should notice a slight pressure release as the universe settles back into harmony. A full report with photographic documentation of the preparation and consumption of the cocktail will be provided for posterity. Feel free to raise a glass yourselves in celebration of the earth remaining a solitary mass.
* Please note that Gibson-OZ will be drinking his cocktail at 8:00 in the morning Australia time on Sunday, June 14th — a testament to his dedication to this noble cause.
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